Constant Flux – How Changes Shape the Skyline and Experience of Living in the UAE
Nothing stands as a stronger sign of change than when a building or group of buildings are razed to the ground to make space for redevelopment. I’ve driven past Mina Plaza Towers many times on my way to my favourite art space in Abu Dhabi, Warehouse 421, or to buy some dates, while it was a fixed part of the view from our apartment in Abu Dhabi. Construction on it began around 2008, when Malaysia’s Zelan Holdings signed a contract with its developer Meena Holdings to build it. After the project was stopped and started during the next couple of years over disputes of non-payment for work done, this 980 million dirham project ground to a final halt at the end of 2015.
At 8am on Friday, 27 November 2020, it took a mere 10 seconds for the 4 towers (a total of 144 floors combined) to disappear with a bang, lacing the air with the smell of cordite, the explosive that was used in the 18,000 holes that were drilled to accomplish a feat that made it into the record books and took 18 months of planning.
This physical change to the skyline of Abu Dhabi followed in the wake of changes to the legal system, which came into effect at the beginning of November. These changes will have a huge impact on the quality of life of the expat population of the UAE, but I have to admit that I’m glad one of these changes only came into effect almost a decade after Michael and I got married.
When Michael decided to act on an opportunity to work in the UAE over ten years ago, our lives changed forever. Far away from home, and often lonely, the months dragged by, and he urged (begged) me to visit him. I refused on the premise that we weren’t married, and that it was against the law to live together if not. One couldn’t even share an apartment as unrelated flatmates, even if one wasn’t in a romantic relationship. He counteracted with the fact that no one would know, that there were a lot of people doing it anyway, and that if I wanted, he would rent me a seperate hotel room. I refused.
When he asked me to marry him six moths after we moved in together, I did what any bride-to-be does – I started to plan the wedding. A wedding, which I should add he insisted on, as I was keen to elope. When his list of requirements became a tangled mess to negotioate, I thought it would be a good idea to start with something that would be easy to compromise on. Something a man surely has no preference to, and I couldn’t care less about. A wedding cake. I searched for ideas and photos, and eventually found some I could work with. When I presented them to him, all he said was “I’ve always wanted a seven tiered wedding cake”. No, it was no joke. He was serious. At that point all negotiations ended, and I gave up. I never wanted a wedding anyway, I just wanted to get married.
So by the time he moved to the UAE, we’d been engaged for more than three years, and when, six months after he left, he came for a visit, he declared with some gusto: “We should start planning our wedding”. I agreed, as there was no way I would move to the UAE without a marriage certificate. This time we more easily compromised. It would be a small, intimate affair in the bush, surrounded only by our closest family and friends, as our chosen venue, a lodge where we spent many happy days during previous visits, was small. And because everyone had to travel far, we decided to make a weekend out of it. “No wedding cake,” I declared. He smiled and nodded.
So I guess one can say with a fair amount of certainty that I have the UAE law that prohibited cohabitation to thank for my marriage. That law has now changed, and for the first time it is legal for unmarried couples to live together.
Alcohol consumption (in private or licenced establishments, not in public) is no longer a legal offence without a licence, as long as you are 21 years old. Although one previously needed to be in possession of a licence to buy and consume alcohol, it was a law that was only really enforced when arrested for another offence.
Suicide and attempted suicide were decriminalised, while “good Samaritans” will no longer be held liable if the person they help dies of their injuries, when they intervene by administering CPR or first aid.
The most important and far reaching change is perhaps the one relating to the personal affairs of non-Emiratis. Divorce and inheritance will now be dealt with in accordance with the laws of the country that the expats hail from, instead of Sharia or Islamic law. The only exception to this is property owned in the UAE, which will still fall under UAE law.
With about 80 percent of the population being non-Emirati, these changes are huge in a country which is doing its best to preserve its culture, heritage, and social values, while at the same time welcomes guest workers, investors, and tourists from over 200 different nationalities with different values, religions, and cultures.
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Note: My sister-in-law decided that one cannot have a wedding without a cake, so she secretly ordered some cupcakes, while her daughter baked a giant one especially for Michael.
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Happy Anniversary whenever that is. The large cupcake looks like it had seven layers. Wonderful to know the laws are relaxing in the UAE.
Thank you, Peggy. It will be 10 years in April. I think you’re right – that cupcake definitely had seven layers. 😉 The changes will have a huge impact, especially on the disproportionately large expat population.
OMG. I love this. Your marriage story and all the positive changes the UAE is making. Bravo, and congratulations!!!
Thank you, Lani. I never thought I would be able to link my marriage story with changes to the laws in the UAE. 🙂 Just shows you that one never knows what the future holds!
Ain’t that the truth!
What an interesting insight – especially in the wake of the incident of Australian women being removed from a flight in Doha and given an examination because authorities were looking for the mother of an abandoned new-born baby. As I understand it, it is illegal in Qatar to give birth outside of marriage – you can only imagine the desperation of a mother who would deliver in an airport bathroom.
You two look so happy in that wedding photo – and you’ve had so many adventures together since tying the knot. I wish you both many more happy years to come.
I haven’t seen the story you refer to Gwen, but sadly it is also against the law in the UAE to give birth outside of marriage, and women are jailed for that offence. I can only imagine the desperation of the mother. It is a good example of one of those tricky laws which is trying to preserve the values of Islamic countries, while the consequences to us as Westerners seem out of proportion for the ‘offence’. So much of life is neither black nor white – most of it is lived in shades of grey, yet laws are very black and white.
That is why these recent changes in the laws in the UAE are so huge. As a country it really is trying to be moderate and as inclusive as it can be while still retaining its cultural and social norms and values, yet it is never liberal enough for the West, while again too liberal for the more conservative Islamic countries.
It was a wonderful wedding in the end and I love being married to Michael. So it all worked out perfect for us. 🙂
Gwendoline, I heard that story on BBC. Made me cringe. As Jolandi said, especially awful for the mother.
I kept imagining how I would feel and react if it was me, either the mother, or the passengers.
That thought is exactly what makes me cringe too, Gwen. It is when we put ourselves in the shoes of others that we become a bit kinder. There for the grace of God go I, is a saying that always comes to mind for me in these instances.
You had me wondering how the changes in law were going to relate to your marriage, especially because I thought the laws were going to be about the demolition of buildings! What a great story about your journey from engaged to married couple, made all the more fun by the somewhat atypical stances on weddings you both held. (I have never heard of a man who gave a moment’s thought to the wedding cake, but I guess I’ve read enough about Michael’s meticulousness with home projects to make it more understandable; he seems to like things to be just so!) I love the happy photo from your wedding!
Thank goodness my marriage didn’t go in the direction of Mina Towers, Lexie! 😉 I’m glad you enjoyed the story, as I was trying to find a way of talking about the recent changes in a personal way. And I love the story, as Michael and I always have a good giggle about the seven tiered wedding cake and how we eventually got married. He does indeed like things to be just so! It is a trait that can be either wonderful or very frustrating. 🙂
It’s interesting to see the changes in the Gulf countries — from Saudi Arabia allowing women to travel without getting a permission from their male guardians to the introduction of the laws you mentioned in the UAE. I hope to see more and more less restrictive regulations being introduced in these places in the future. Now speaking of the wedding cake, Michael seems to be quite content with the cupcakes
Yip, these changes to the laws will improve the quality of life of so many people. Like you, I’m quite happy to see them, Bama. And you’re right, Michael was quite content with the cupcakes. Much better than a seven tiered cake. 😉
Hello Jolandi!
I have been so behind on my favorite blogs. First and foremost, a very happy anniversary and congrats on 10 wonderful years to you and Michael. The years really do fly so quickly don’t day? (My hubby and I celebrated 11 years recently – we can’t believe it! :)) Wishing you both many many more years of health, happiness and love.
I *will* be catching up on A Taste of Freedom very soon!
Warm wishes always, Takami
Thank you, Takami. Our life together has been full of adventures. Congratulations to you and your husband too. Time really does fly by too quickly, which makes it so difficult to fit in all the things we have to and want to do. I would really like to slow down a bit this winter . . .
What a wonderful story! A ‘wedding’ is a lovely occasion. However, marriage is much more important than that one day of dressing up and partying. So many people spend so long planning the ideal wedding day they forget to think about the meaning of the promises they have to make in front of witnesses and the marriage that comes afterwards.
Those law changes must have been so difficult for the UAE to make; and so worrying for them, too! It is a very risky thing to do in a country that has had such strict codes of behaviour, especially when they look around them and see how other countries are fairing with very relaxed laws!
After all the problems there have been with the building of the Mina Plaza Towers the decision to destroy them must have come as a relief to so many people!
I so love your response, Clare. I couldn’t have put it better. People seem to not fully comprehend or appreciate the precarious position the UAE finds itself in. To be inclusive, yet to retain culture, values and identity is like walking on a tightrope. One, many democratic countries are losing their footing on at the moment.
Perhaps because I’ve lived there for almost a decade, I often feel defensive when people, who have either visited only for a couple of days or have never been there would tell me what is wrong with the country and its people. Something that sadly happens too often. I’m sometimes even given a lecture about how women are treated, and when I point out that I’m a woman, that I’ve lived there for many years, and that what they’re saying is not true at all, they get upset, as it is not the ‘truth’ they’ve been fed by the media or allign with their own prejudices.
I find that sad and disturbing, as if we have to live in an either-or type of world, while the reality is that it is neither. I so wish we can learn to listen and understand (even when we don’t agree), instead of judging all the time.
Yes, I completely agree with you. So many people have such a naive view of the world and a very insular one, though they believe they are being inclusive and accepting. Most of the time they only see one side of the story and have no experience to temper their views.
I did not realize 80% of the population was non-Emirati. Gosh how do they keep their own culture in the midst of all that? This is quite a story and I loved the little peek into your marriage story. I think you both like things just so, and possibly this is something you understand about each other. I would choose cupcakes at a wedding any day, and that 7-tiered cupcake is awesome and thoughtful of your niece to look after Michael’s cake needs. ❤ Congratulations on 10 years together.
Thank you, Crystal. I was trying to find a good personal story to tie in with all the new changes in the laws of the UAE to avoid a post that sounds more like a newspaper report, so I’m glad you are appreciative of our marriage story. I always have a giggle when I think back on it, although at the time I definitely didn’t see the humour in it. 🙂 Yes, I think people don’t appreciate quite what a challenge it is for Emiratis to retain their culture being a minority in their own country. It really is quite a unique phemomenon in the Gulf countries.
This is a wonderful and humorous story about the UAE laws pushing you to marry ~ every relationship needs such stories 🙂 I was just talking about this with a friend about how having a small, intimate affair is so much more memorable ~ and it seems more young people are beginning to go this route, kind of like the new going back to the old ways.
I agree, Randall. Small, intimate weddings are definitely the way to go. Less stress, more interaction with the guests, which I would say results in enjoyment, and most definitely less expensive. I feel quite satisfied that I could link our wedding story with UAE laws, as it isn’t always easy to come up with original angles to stories. 😉
Love the photo of you both and the whole wedding story. It reminded me of my 20 year old self wanting to leave with my boyfriend for a year in America. My mother insisted I had to be engaged as in “he needs to state his intent!” I got married at 20 because of this family pressure but it allowed me to leave the country and we never did return from America other than for visits.
So interesting all those rules and prohibitions you write about. I think next anniversary calls for the seven tiered cake!
Peta
I can just imagine the conversations that happened around the dining table, Peta. Your mother’s words are so typical of that era. Like you say, it at least allowed you to leave the country, and I’m sure you don’t regret that, as you have lived such an interesting life in so many places in the world. SA would just have stifled your adventurous spirit. 😉
Hahaha, yes, perhaps the 10th anniversary calls for that seven tiered cake. Michael will love your way of thinking.
What a beautiful reflection on both the changes you’ve experienced with your husband and the changes a country can experience over time. Happy belated anniversary. May you two continue to share love and laughter for many years to come.
Thank you, Atreyee.
Oh, these are really good developments coming from UAE. I hope the lives of everyone there continue to improve. And wow, 80% non-Emirati residents – crazy.
Yes, it is a very skewed ratio of residents and nationals. Something a lot of people overlook or don’t know about. Finding a balance that works for everyone living there is an ongoing challenge.